wow life gets...

BUSY!!!

well lets see.. its been about 2 weeks and life has been nuts!
we were supposed to be in seattle today for family pictures but had a sick kiddo from yesterday and didnt want to travel 2 hours in a car and risk getting baby Emma sick shes so tiny :o)

the twins have each lost another tooth so they are both missing 2 on the bottom! tegans top 2 are loose and i bet they are long gone before thanksgiving haha that should make eatting turkey entertaining

got to go out with the girls last weekend and boy did i need that! it was so much fun! hope to do it again sometime. ran into some people i havent seen since i left yakima 2 1/2 years ago! one i hope to keep around for a while ;) more details later

mom has started watching the 2 little boys 1 afternoon a week so i can help in the twins class rooms, run errons or what ever else needs to be done. she loves it! plus it keeps her out of trouble hahaha

we will be moving into a bigger place soon i hope! got turned down for a home loan (thanks stupid fanny and freddie!) but this place is great! its in the country and we can have our pets back so they dont have to live with my mom anymore plus we can get a dog again! YAY!!!
the twins will have to change schools tho. but its still a really good school dist. and they will make friends quick!

lets see what else.... been thinking alot about school lately. looks like i will be going back in Jan. going to start with as many classes as i can online and go from there. need to get my AA in something so i can apply for the nursing program! then life will get busy but it will be worth it in the long run

got our flight info the other day about our Snowball Express trip to Cali in dec. arent i excited to be on another charter flight with 3 stops not counting where we get on.... it will be a long day! but it will be worth it in the long run. my dad might go with us this year to help me with the boys so i am excited about that!

well gotta run. time to figure out what to cook or order for dinner lol
xoxo
jenn

watching the news

ahhh the end of another day.

its been a pretty productive day.

met with the loan officer and got all the paper work started for a home loan. cross my fingers i will know more on Monday or Tuesday.

made it to the bank woo hoo!

had coffee with a friend :o)

and even got to go to the grocery store with no extra bodies!

bought lil man his first baby foods.. i cant believe how fast he is growing!! hes up to 18 pounds and is wanting to sit up on his own. isnt rolling over yet but i think that's because he weighs so much hahaha

pretty sure he is up to 3 chins :o) but he is so stinkin cute. he loves to talk to his brothers and laugh at them! kaden is the best at getting him to smile and laugh. hes got this goofy voice and face that gets noah every time!!

looking into tomorrow. not much going on. tryin to go out with the girls after my boys go to bed but i am pretty picky about babysitters and wouldnt be able to drive anyone home because there would be no one here with the boys.

Sammy had her wrist surgery on tuesday. shes doing good. on fun meds and is pretty tired and loopy. i got to go over and put her hair in a pony tail for her today. something i havent done for her since she was in grade school.

well i think i am going to climb into bed and pray little man stays asleep

xoxo

me

:::insert something smart ass here:::

not much new to share tonight.
boys had a good day at school.
came home had dinner went to caravans and straight to bed
started rehersal for the christmas musical at church.
might even audition for a solo! lol

meeting with the loan office tomorrow. see what they say.
if i cant get a big enough loan for a house i would be happy with
i will just wait and rent for a while.
save some more money and improve my credit score

i suppose we should figure out what we are going to be for halloween
we have tossed around a few ideas.
trying to all stick to a theme but not sure what will come of it

off to bed
xoxo
me

changes in life

since moving home most people ask if i am working or going to school... and when i say no (usually to strangers...) i get a funny or dirty look of why not... and you can see the wheels spinning with questions... i am sure they want to know where i get money to live on from and if their tax dollars are paying me... well in a way they are but not for the reasons they are probably thinking.

i have found out that there are some people jealous of me getting to live the way i do.. well if i could i would let them know i would give it all up to have kyle back and live in a card board box under a highway some where!!! i know i choose to marry him while he was in the army but you never stop to think of the "what ifs" when your in love.

life has thrown me a lot of curve balls and the best i can do is swing and hope to hit it over the fence(cheesy i know). some people may not like the way i live my life or the decisions i make, well, all i can say is sorry. its my life and these are my kids. we are happy, healthy and safe. thats what matters most in life!

things up coming.... these are the scary unknowns. what to do next? thats what i am working on now... after many failed attempts at lasting relationships, finding someone that makes me and my kids happy has been pushed even farther down the list. when the right person comes along i hope i am ready to trust again. too many lies and broken promises in the past. too many that want me to "take care of them" with my finances or just need a baby sitter.

damn it i made a promise when i started this blog it would be upbeat.. oh well i guess one pissy one can slide lol

xoxo
me

4 things....

Four Places I Go Over and Over:
1. The nail place.. its my one girly thing
2. gas station. with a suburban i spend too much time there
3. myspace/craigslist lol
4. the boys schools

Four People Who E-mail Me Regularly
1. Jen
2. Heather N
3. Doc sends me jokes
4. ya not comin up with anyone else

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
1. a hot tub
2. some where fun with my boys
3. the mountains (oh ya no girls at elk camp BS!!!)
4. oklahoma

Four TV Shows I Watch
1. ER
2. Greys
3. spongebob... not cuz i want to lol
4. law and order

Four Things I Have for Breakfast
1. mt dew
2. lucky charms
3. a smoke
4. toast.. yea i know i am such a healthy eater

Four Animals I Like Best
1. Dogs
2. chinchillas
3. Horses
4. Cats

Four Beaches I've Been to
1. south Beach, FL
2. Depoe Bay, OR
3. oceanside, OR
4. seaside, OR

Four People I'm Tagging to Do The Four Things Meme- you guys can just leave your responses as comments :o)
1. heather neptune
2. nea nea
3. samantha
4. hiedi

proud

well i am proud of myself tonight i saw someone out whos teeth i would really like to see on the floor but i bit my toung and i was good.... but damn it my toung hurts!

i am sad at the same time cuz i am missing someone and didnt get to talk to them all day.. maybe tomorrow?

i am buzzed so before i say too much i must say good night

xoxo
me

i hate renting

didnt get a chance to write last night. i was frozen from walking around in the rain at the fair!

i have desided its best if i rent for another year and work on my credit scores since its going to be hard to get loans now... but there is nothing big enough for rent! i found one that is perfect but the guy wont email me back!!! i will be calling on another today, its in the same school dist. the boys are in now so thats good but the home is also up for sale... so what happens if it sells while i am renting it ahhhhh fustrations

anyway, the fair yesterday was pretty disappointing. it was raining so not alot of people there so that was good but with 4 boys and my mom and step dad i didnt get a chance to eat anything :o( the barns were nearly empty. the open class animal shows were tiny this year. guess we missed the good stuff at the beginning when the 4-h kids were there.

ran into a few people i knew and avoided on. didnt think talking to my ex-fiance while he was at the fair with his wife and kids would have gone over well hahaha

i think the boys had fun, they were tired by the time we got home and fell asleep pretty easy. but woke up in bad moods today!! they have bein lil tornados all day. my living room looks like a bomb went off and threw couch cushions every where!

well back to the rental/house hunt. just wanted to do a quick update

ahh day 2

well the goal continues...

today was another good day. boys got up for school and out the door with no major melt downs and on time!
zane and i stayed home all day.. neither of us were feeling very well so we hung out watchin tv and working on pre-k stuff that i have for him.
noah had a good day too. hes getting so big! he was laughing and talking up a storm :o)

tonight my friend hiedi and her son came over for a quick visit. i havent seen here in so long.. well since zane was tiny lol. we are going to try and have a girls night tomorrow night.

i am picking everyone up from school early tomorrow to take them to the fair with my mom. we are hoping my sister and chase can meet us there. it should be fun. i am looking forward to the barns and the food. the boys of course are looking forward to the rides.... hope i dont have to go on any with them!!!

I think i decided today that instead of buying a house i am going to try to rent for another year (in a bigger place than this one) and build up my credit so i know i get the house i want and not have to settle.

spoke with my spiritual advisor tonight and i have alot of changes coming up. apparently i will be in the public eye alot through the end of the year and maybe beyond. i know some of you may not believe in this and thats ok.... but she told me kyle wants me to go public with all the financial issues that the surviving families are having. and to stand up for those who may not stand up for them selves. she also gave me some insight into why i felt the way i did when i left OK and it sounds like i left just in the nick of time before some shit hit the you know what. and could have got ugly.

i am excited right now because i have a friend coming to visit me in a few weeks. i cant wait to show him around so he can see what its like here in the NW! and then hopefully after a few weeks i can go down and visit OK! i didnt think i missed everyone so much but holy crap its been a tough week without them!

well its now 0100 and i am going to bed. good night

the start of my end of the day thoughts...

here i go trying something new.

lots of things will be changing over the next year.

the boys are all growing so fast! they are so smart and so goofy.

so i am going to make it a goal before i go to bed every night to take time and put my thoughts down about the day

so here i start

today was a pretty good day. zane and i weren't feeling very well so he stayed home from preschool and we watched cartoons and played games.

noah is starting to use his hands more and reach for things. its so cute.. hes even rubbing his eyes when hes tired!

tegan and kaden wore the exact same outfit to school today in hopes of tricking their teachers. it worked for a minute til one teacher remembered to look at the shoes! kaden was wearing red tennis shoes :)

tonight we went to dinner at the church and the boys had caravans. gave mom and i a little time to just sit and chat.

next week we start rehearsals for the christmas musical :)

talked to our pastor and his wife and they want my sister and i to start working on a song to sing at christmas time together. but christmas time is going to be a little busy this year so we will see.

looking back at the last 10 days... my sister and i boared a plane for vegas not really knowing how it would all work out in laughlin but i am so glad i went. i didn't realize how much i missed my friends from oklahoma! they are the greatest and i couldn't ask for any better!

don't get me wrong i have good friends here too but it was really hard to say goodbye.

crossing my fingers that allan starts his bar and i can be there for the grand opening!!!

anyway back to laughlin. we got in pretty late, checked in, went and got us some In and Out burger and crashed for the night.

day 2 was orientation and the start of round 1! day one was all the ladies... but we were lucky and didn't sing til afternoon so we had plenty of time to get ready and get the nerves out! round 1 went ok. i could tell it wasn't my best but i went with it and had fun! its a bigger stage and audience than i am used to!!! and a ton more lights lol Samantha did great! for never singing in a contest like this before i am so proud of her!!!

day 3 we had all day to goof off until 10pm for round 1 of duets. so we did some shopping :o)duets were great! got a ton of good feed back.

day 4 we sang in round 2. starting at 10am! again my sister was great and i was grinning from ear to ear with pride! for me... again i knew i could do better and started kicking myself. after we got done it was time for a drive so we hit the road. some how we ended up in Cali. i think next year i will be taking a tom tom lol!!! had a blast that night with some new friends and crashed out in the early morning hours (well i did anyway lol sammy was in bed by 2)

day 5 (thurs)! wow were we really gone that long lol.... didn't have anything this day til late at night for round 2 of duets. so we slept in, hit the pool and watched some the male country round 2. duets round 2 were fabulous! i couldn't have asked for a better partner :) again i am so proud of my sister!

day 6 (fri) got up to see if we made top 20 in solos... and didn't so we hit the road! spent a few hours at Hoover Dam and Vegas. didn't get back til midnight-ish.

i will fill you in on more details tomorrow nite. i am tired and ready for bed

xoxoxo